In reading “The Spirit of Intimacy” there is a lot of talk of rituals that bind the spirits of the individuals to others, whether its their partner, their family, or their community. These rituals can bring the couple closer by giving them a ‘sacred space’ in which they can connect to each other. While the rituals talked about in the book are lost here in the modernized world there are some rituals that we engage in everyday with out partners
A simple morning ritual can be “I love you. I hope you have a great day hun”just as an afternoon ritual can be “How was your day?” .. these can be done everyday showing interest in your partner’s well-being as much as your own. Hubby and I definitely try to get this done everyday.
Another kind of ritual is kissing every time you see each other. If I’m going to see hubby before anything else, I have to give him his kiss first or vice versa, he’ll visit me and give me a kiss before saying hi to anyone else. Its the same with leaving, we always depart with a kiss.
Bonding can be done in nature, in cuddle sessions, in working out together, the random date nights or game nights
The relationship rituals are whatever works for you. Its the little things that you’ve been doing all along, the goals you’ve set for yourselves, the bar or restaurant you frequent, the bench in the park you always sit at, the way you cuddle up at nighttime, the way you cook together on the weekends, the kisses your partner gives you before they get out of bed, etc…
Al of these tings brings you closer and leave an impression on your heart for a lifetime. Its all the little things that keep you falling more in love with them everyday…
Connect. Support. Build. Grow. Together. Love
The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationship by Sobonfu Somé
Following @ALifeBalanced on IG, I came across their post for this book and immediately I had to get it. It just felt right to me. Reading through it (currently on chapter 6 cause another book caught my eye) I realize the importance of the teachings within it so far.
The “spirit” in the book speaks not only of the way we connect to nature but also of the way we ‘speak’ to our ancestors for help in our troubles, for answers, or showing the way, the way we connect to the family and friends within out community, the way we connect with our partners. It’s all about using those resources to have a great functioning relationship, which can be hard with some family members or friends that go against what you are trying to build with your partner. They are not invested in seeing your relationship thrive. This is about not just minimizing your circle but enlarging it as well. Giving yourself your inner circle of close girlfriends/guy-friends who can offer the support and guidance, that your partners male/female friends will offer him without the stint of jealousy lurking behind their words.
It also touches on getting back to communication without technology (kind of hard these days but doable on occasion), falling back to some of the teachings your grandmother, great grandmother put on you when you were younger, realizing the masculine and feminine in us all (that we have strong and weak sides to ourselves and it is NATURAL), that as much as we think we are in this relationship on our own, we’re not, we have a full circle behind us rooting for it to work our in its entirety, we just have to be open and willing to let them help, not just when needed (as in don’t go seeking advice in the aftermath, acknowledge that things could be better and SAY SOMETHING.. read glows and grows if you need an idea on how to start that).
What books do you suggest for relationship advice?