Holidays, Family, Friends and Love

The holidays can be a tough time on relationships. Or not. It all depends on the couple.

What hubby and I like to do during the holidays is take the time to visit each others families if available. At times it can be tough for me, I don’t drive and my house is the place to be for all family gatherings whether it’s family coming in or friends of family. As this is a year where we are celebrating after the loss of my brother, the addition of his daughter ,and also my other brothers daughter (I am the oldest of 5, with my younger siblings all boys). Its going to be an interesting time.

Family politics and all. Joy.

Back to hubby and I’s holiday partakings. He usually stops by on the way to see Grandma spends a few hours there since she’s a few blocks away and his dad is there, comes by me for an hour or so, and then we’re off to spend the rest of the evening with his family. Simple enough right.

Well yea, its a good plan. Just remember life loves to throw curveballs.

Last yea for thanksgiving, he invited me to Thanksgiving by him. He was gonna pic me up on the way in the evening and again stop by say hi to the fam, get in the family picture. all that good stuff. but he wasn’t feeling well so that put a dent in that plan. He did eventually end up being badgered into going, i just wasn’t with him. And that turned into his family thinking we broke up. I thought it was hilarious. This year again he didn’t stay long. With good reason, he had to drive to Jersey from Queens, understandable but again missed the picture lol.

All in all, I’m just saying it’s good to have a plan for the holidays. Whose house are you going to first, the easiest way to travel, joint gifts, time management. It might seem like nothing but it makes it a bit more enjoyable knowing that you’re not stressing yourself out and worrying that you’re leaving someone out during the festivities.

Game plans are necessary for stress free celebrations even with hiccups that may come your way. Plan , or at least try to plan, for the unexpected.

Communicate. Support. Celebrate. Love

Lift Each Other Up

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So did you see the season finale of HBO’s Insecure?

Did you feel the same way as I did that Lawrence just left Issa after telling her he missed her and wanted to finally talk things through?

How upset were you that he ended up with the bank teller?

Nonplussed that he ended up with her right. It was coming in the long term. She was there supporting him when his actual girlfriend Issa was stuck in her own BS, not communicating with him about how she was feeling in their relationship, not motivating him to get up off the couch and do something with his life.

No, he had some other women in his ear boosting his confidence, making him feel good about his decisions, motivating him to do more.

As his partner, Issa should have done the same.

When you’re in a relationship for the long term, things are not always going to be rainbows and butterflies. SHIT HAPPENS. LIFE HAPPENS. It wont always be pretty. It’s also the tough times that help build solid foundations for you both. You know that you are both willing to communicate and fix the issue, rather than sweep it under the rug and let is fester over the years until you can’t take it anymore.

Tough times are learning situations for you both not ammunition for days when you’re angry at each other. Hurting your significant other should never be a goal. Using past mistakes and faults to hurt them is a NO No too.

I just want to stress the importance of being there for your partner. Supporting and encouraging them with whatever it is they are trying to do. For example my fiance loves playing basketball and wants to play overseas. However due to him getting older that window is getting smaller. He even talked about giving up basketball at one point. Knowing how much he loves ball, I wasn’t having it. SO using my feminine wiles (wink wink) I coaxed him back in to plying ball. Not giving up his dream just yet. Now he’s spending hours in the gym (I’m so loving the results… licking his abs is my favorite pass time lol), he’s balling with his cousins, he’s getting a few offers to play elsewhere. And I am happy that his hard work is being recognized.

Trust me there have been some times when I got jealous of that damn Spalding and I felt like I was secondary to basketball but I’m still there supporting him through the frustration of that damn ball. We have talked about it because it has interfered with our time on a few occasions but that is a topic for another day.

While you may not always agree on everything, ITS FINE. You don’t always have to agree on everything. You did not jump into a relationship with your mirror. It’s healthy to have arguments. But still show up. Show that you care. Give a damn about what your significant other is doing.

Don’t push them away and give someone else a chance to take what you two have been working/building on away.

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Communicate. Support. Love each other.