Some Self Love Tools

♥Affirmations♥

  • “I cleanse myself of all selfishness, resentment, critical feelings, and self-condemnation. I bathe myself in generosity, appreciation, praise, gratitude, and self-acceptance” – Lidia Frederico
  • “A few steps back means that I have not fallen” JChavae
  • “Today I Affirm: I am confident in my ability to bloom, and I will not stunt my growth with negative self-talk or old bad habits” – Alex Elle
  • “You are worth more than you think, capable of more than you know, and loved more than you can imagine” – Unk.
  • “You are beautiful no matter what they say, words can’t bring you down” – Christina Aguilera

Good Reads

  • Alex Elle – #ANote2Self (self-care journal)
  • Keke Palmer – I Don’t Belong to You
  • Jen Sincero – You Are A Badass
  • Kamal Ravikant – Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on it
  • Alexis Jones – I am That Girl

Articles

  • Self Care tips from Alex Elle here
  • Self Esteem tips here
  • Self Love tips here

Mirror Exercise

Do this exercise every day however long you need to or whenever you want to (I suggest doing this before you start your day and before you go to bed… just throw yourself right into it or once a day to ease into it)

  • 1.  Stand before a mirror (any size) and just look at yourself, do not linger on one area to look. Just really look at yourself and appreciate that you are whole, you are breathing.

    2. “As you look into your eyes in the mirror, begin to say some good and encouraging things about yourself, tell yourself how strong you’ve been and will continue to be, tell yourself how happy you are about what you’ve already achieved and what you will achieve in the future.” – Dr Joe Rubino

    3. Tell yourself “you are amazing, you are good enough, you are a beautiful and an awesome person”

    4. End by saying to yourself “I love you”

I hope this helps you on your journey in loving yourself more, in loving yourself the way you want your partner to love and appreciate you.

What are some useful tips that you can share from your own self love journey in your relationship?

3 Kisses: You, Me, Us

Cuddling with hubby on the couch after a short study session (taking the GRE for masters program) and he asks for a kiss.

Of course I give him one!

But then he asks for 3 kisses in all. I ask why 3 and he says..

il_fullxfull.301571879.jpg (1296×972)“One for you, One for me, and One for us.” – G.N.

His reasoning is that there are three of us in this relationship. The two of us as separate individuals and the two of us as a whole.  And I wholeheartedly agree with his reasoning.

I always thought of it that way, as in we let each other be individuals in the relationship focusing on getting our own selves together, our individuals goals/hobbies/interests. However,we also focus on bettering ourselves for each other, building each other up, taking apart in each others interest, going from ‘I’ and ‘me’ to ‘we’ and ‘our’.

It’s not as easy as it seems to get into that mindset for some or many. It’s also not easy to lose your sense of self while forming the “we” and “us” and “our”. So the thing that I want you all to remember is that your other half fell in love with you for who you are as an individual, they loved you more for who were together, but its your habits, your ‘you-isms’ that remind them every day of the reasons why they fell in love with you to begin with.

Don’t forget about your self. Don’t let others quiet your voice. If you feel the need to change, then do it for you and no one else. If you’re partner asks why, then say you’re doing it to feel good about yourself. I’m not saying anything drastic like plastic surgery (because God made you beautiful as you are) but a makeover, or wardrobe change, or trying out a new hobby, or going back to school (things like that). If you lost touch with something you once enjoyed , reconnect.

Rediscover who you are, build on who you are.. but also share this with your partner. Don’t leave them out. They are there to support you. Motivate you. Take part in the journey with you. Maybe while trying things out with you they’ll discover something they enjoy as well. Find a new spark or passion for the both of you.

Limefish-Studio-Simply-Handwritten-DIY-Date-Night-Jar-2.jpg (725×544)
Pinterest has great date night ideas!
For example: A friend of mine (who’s getting married in the next few months) has alternating date months with her fiance, where they chose something the haven’t done before (dance lessons, cooking lessons, paint night, play, new restaurant, weekend getaway) and just go with it. I love her enthusiasm with it and its always something new and creative.

 

So its never just you, like hubby said, there’s you, there’s me, and there’s us!

How do you keep your sense of self alive while taking part in your relationship?