Date Night: Explore

So I was wracking my brain on a good follow through for the last post, intimacy through touch, and I figured some date night ideas on exploring with you partner would be good.

Fun, right!

Get some candles, dim the lights, play your soundtrack that gives you that mellow feel….

Keep in mind:

this kind of intimacy is not sex

it does not have to lead up to sex

you go as far you are comfortable with

also touch can include accessories

exfoliatinggloves.jpg (600×405)Accessories???? Well let’s just say I bought those exfoliating gloves with me on our anniversary getaway and used them during a shower with hubby, it was an experience in itself. I mean being in the shower with one another is awesome. The feel of his soapy hands gliding across my skin, kneading a few muscles here and there, the kisses. The gloves just added a heightened awareness of sensitivities.

Can you say foreplay!

Scarves are a great accessory1eae8d3f3d-flowers-erotic-sensual-sensuel-wow-gotico-PMac2-Rose-daniels-for-me-aaa_large-300x195.jpg (300×195) as well, and you know you have plenty of scarves in the house that would go perfect for a time of exploration. I don’t really need to explain much here, basically your partner is blindfolded either sitting across from you or laying down in front of you. You have the option to straddle or lie/sit next to them. Using fingers, feathers, a rose, or anything you have in mind to use that is soft trace the lines of your partner.

Watch as their breath hitches. Watch as they tremble.

Talk to them. Ask them how they feel.

Take turns.

Sometimes, I like to straddle hubby and look at his face. I trace his eyebrows, his hairline, his jaw, his nose, his lips. I circle his ears and go down to his neck. I caress his cheeks and kiss his eyelids. For me this is relaxing. For me this is an intimate moment for us.

Physical touch can also be a moment of giving your partner a head massage, or playing in their hair in general. Even scratching their beard (I do this often for hubby) and I tell you it’s fun for both.

In that moment of relaxing your partner, you are relaxing as well, you’re both reaching a state of connectivity that will bring you closer to each other than before. Each of these acts are you worshipping in each other, and showing an appreciating in learning each other over and over again.

Trust me, every time I touch hubby it feels like I’m discovering something new and I love it.

Explore. Touch. Caress. Communicate. Love

5 Love Languages

A great way to learn how to talk to your partner or just to learn the semantics behind their thoughts and actions concerning your relationship and their relationship with others…. is to learn their love language.

How do they express themselves towards you and others? How do they feel is the best way to receive love from others?

Learning their love language is a great tool in stopping many arguments based on quality time and physical touch; words of affirmation and acts of service or receiving gifts.

Take the the quiz here to find out the love language for your partner

Also The 5 Love Languagestake time to read the book to get a more in depth understanding of your love language and your pThe 5 Love Languages for Menartners love language. Also for the MEN out there, there is a love language book for you too ( I think i’ll get hubby a copy!)

Luckily hubby and I have similar love languages. Quality time is huge for both of us since we currently live apart at the moment. While physical touch follows closely behind.

Physical touch is a need for us.

With only getting time to be physically intimate on some weekends due to our schedules, just being able to sit and hold hands or rub/caress each other becomes important. To us touch is just about everything. Its calming. Brings a new breath into our lives before spending another hectic week apart. Being able to hold onto each other in a hug or a cuddle is relaxing. I’ll find myself just trailing my fingers along his skin, almost in a trance, and he just sits there with his eyes closed, body slowly unwinding from all the tension of work and working out. A kiss on the forehead when i catch his eye. He’ll play with my fingers, kiss them.

And we’ll be happy in that moment.

Don’t get me wrong I’m all for words of affirmation but it took me awhile to get to that point of receiving compliments and praise and hearing how much he loves me. I wasn’t used to it. Having never gotten it in the way that he does it before. I was so bashful and amazed that he could express himself so freely around me while it took me weeks to realize that I could tell him i loved him too. After analyzing and over-analyzing my feelings for him. Also had to write it out. And that’s where we differ. His words of affirmation are verbal while mine are written. But we interchange accordingly.

Acts of service is something that we both work on as we grow. To offer help as the other needs it. To take up chores while the other is tired or stressing. To divide tasks to get things done more quickly. To go with your partner for a walk while they clear their head. To keep them motivated while they strive for their goals. Make coffee/tea snack while their work hard on a project. Be silent while they vent. Get tissue for tears. Cheer them on while they workout. Its all there.

Receiving gifts is not a big language for us. Though it is nice to get something, its more of something that we need more than something we want. For example hubby went to Uniqlo to pick up some new sweats and T’s and I’ve been meaning to go pick up their heat tech leggings for the winter. He called and asked if I wanted him to pick up anything while he was there so i asked him for the leggings and socks. Simple. Another example was our first Christmas together, before we started dating actually, and we exchanged gifts. He got me a book I’ve been looking for and I got him a flask with a set of 4 shot glasses and a funnel.  Honestly, our only Christmas of exchanging gifts. not that we haven’t asked each other but we don’t feel the need to get anything because we just want to be able to spend time together (our biggest love language is quality time).

What are you and your partners love languages? How do you keep that feeling alive in your relationship?

Think about.