Holidays & Lost Loved Ones

Safe to say, holidays with loved one missing are not gonna be easy.

I lost one of my younger brothers (the one born right after me) 8 months ago. He passed 2 months before his daughter was born. It’s been real tough on my mom, his girlfriend, his best friends, our uncles.

I didn’t realize how tough it was on me.

My brother and I are a year and 4 months apart. We and our other siblings grew up close together. It was a constant. Us 4 before our youngest sibling came along. We became 5. But still every year was brought in with us being there together whether physically in the same space or not.

To have that constant change has taken its toll on me as the new year approaches.

Yesterday was spent with me mostly in tears because if it. I had to leave home and go to hubby just to cry in the comfort of his arms. Like big boo-hoo, snot all over your chest, got the ugly face, i-don’t-care-who-can-hear-me tears.

He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know why i was crying. But he just held me close and let me cry all over his naked chest. He kissed my forehead. He told me he loved me and was there for me. He gave me time to collect myself before I could even give the reason for it all.

He has been my rock through it all. I love him so much more for it.

Some days are harder than others. I just don’t understand why my brother was taken so young, before he had the chance to see his beautiful little girl.

I miss my bother.

For those of you that have lost someone too soon, who still feel it years later, my condolences to you. Lean on your partner. Let them hold you. Let them wipe your snot and tears. Let them console you.

Peace. Communicate. Support. Love. Always