Dun, Dun, Duuuuuuun!!!!!
Kind of dread those words from time to time. But its not always a bad thing.
Sometimes it means that things have been building up and before we get to a tipping point, a REAL conversation needs to be had.
Other times, well, shits about to get real.
I kid you not, when hubby says “Babe, I need to talk to you” I’m on my way into full panic mode before he says it’s nothing serious. Usually, he just wants to confirm (or cancel… that jerk) plans or something is going on with him that he needs to get off his chest.
OK. Cool. Phew!
However, how to do you usually start this serious kind of conversation off with your partner? How do you do it and not scare or worry them in the process?
I say to get their attention then start off with “Babe, we need to talk about some things” or “love, can I talk to you?” The pet name draws them in, the rest lets them know that its a real conversation. Follow up with “it’s nothing serious” or “I have some things that I need to get off my chest” or “I just want to talk about us” are some ways to ease them in what you have to say, whether good or bad.
Or simply put, you can tell them “I think there’s some things we need to work on for our relationship to reach the next level” (whatever that means for you)
At work we call these Glows and Grows. Glows are things we’re good at or we’ve done well. Grows are thing that we need to work on.
For instance with hubby and I, our Glow is that we talk things through, we examine all aspects of what we want and how we want to do it. Our Grow, is to work on our financials to get everything we want done, done. We can talk all we want but we have to make the moves to go along with it. And its also a Grow for myself because I suck at budgeting and saving money. It’s my one major flaw.
So the take home for this is a really another communication tool with your partner. What are the glows and grows of your relationship? What is the best thing you have going and what do you need to work on for you to be that great couple? Mind you these glows and grows will change over time, its up to you to sit down and talk about it again and again. It just shows that you’re trying each and every time to work on your relationship.
Let’s face it divorce is just as common nowadays as is marriage. We don’t need another Kardashian marriage lasting 72 days, we need that old time 50s, 60s kind of love lasting 40, 50, or even 60 years.
Work on fixing your problems together, not cover them up with fake smiles and false happiness.
Talk. Communicate. Converse. Parlay. Love.