Breathe Life Into Your Relationship

It’s easy to fall into a routine with your significant other. It’s easy to get used to doing the same things over and over again. It’s easy to stop trying.

In light of the Easter holiday, here are a few simple tips to revitalize and renew your relationship:

  1. Remember the little things: Grand gestures are great but it’s the little things that are remembered more often. The many different ways to show your love, appreciation and affection are one. Listening and showing that their voice was heard is another.. you hear complaints and ailments often do something to alleviate that pressure or tension very once in a while to show that they are not alone. But don’t take over completely and make them feel as if they are incapable or their efforts are not even warranted or acknowledged any more. Its shows how much you pay attention and also shows how much you support one another.
  2. Take a trip: It doesn’t have to be somewhere far. It can even be a stay-cation in your very own city/town. But make it special, rent out on AirBnB, a bed and breakfast, a little hotel. Treat yourself as tourists and try something different. Got an artsy soul, go to a museum, see the new exhibits, find a new gallery opening, go to a new play or see an old favorite. Into music, I’m sure there are plenty of concerts or live band showings that you can find.
  3. Try something new: I’m all for spontaneity and trying out new things and lucky enough hubby goes along with my whims. Each venture is an adventure that creates memories that we can share with family and friends and eventually our kids in the future (should we get that blessed).
  4. Scrapbook it out: All I can say is keep the little things close to you, build a scrapbook and look back on how your story unfolded and grew into what it is today. I’ve learned from my brother and my mom to take as many pictures as often as you can. Sometimes, looking back on memories alone can become hazy but having something more concrete to look at can fill in the blanks.
  5. Bonding Rituals: I’ve learned the importance of having rituals in a relationship, whether it’s having a set day aside each week or month where its just the two of you alone (date night), or making each others favorite morning drink, making Sunday breakfast together, going for a morning walk together, making a certain time of the day your mediation time, or making a happiness jar and reading a few things out of it at the end of each month, etc.. It is up to you and your partner to find the rituals that work for you.
  6. Let it go: It’s inevitable that you and your partner will not always get along on everything. There will be disagreements, there will be escalation… but there has to be forgiveness and acceptance if you two want the keep up with forever together. Just ask yourself, “is it worth it?” ” Can you find a common ground?” Holding on to grudges and the stress that comes with it will create a rift in your foundation and tear that everything you’ve built the longer you two hold on to it. Relationships are about compromise, compassion, honesty, and trust. Sometimes you simply have to let the pieces fall where they may.

Set goals in breathing life into your relationship. Try to make it better than it was before you felt the need to rekindle the spark aflame. You think your spouse needs more support then support them. The relationship feels likes its in a rut then try something new. Getting drained in your everyday life then find time to get away and recharge yourselves. Don’t feel like I love you is enough, express this to your partner in a different way (make a card, create a spa day at home, get a coupes massage, try out a new body oil, a new cologne/perfume) tell them you appreciate them, remind them why you fell in love with them in the first place, what makes you fall in love with them now.

There are many opportunities out there, you just have to be willing to give it a shot

Bonding Rituals

In reading “The Spirit of Intimacy” there is a lot of talk of rituals that bind the spirits of the individuals to others, whether its their partner, their family, or their community. These rituals can bring the couple closer by giving them a ‘sacred space’ in which they can connect to each other. While the rituals talked about in the book are lost here in the modernized world there are some rituals that we engage in everyday with out partners

screenshot-2017-03-02-at-9-18-42-pmA simple morning ritual can be “I love you. I hope you have a great day hun”just as an afternoon ritual can be “How was your day?” ..  these can be done everyday showing interest in your partner’s well-being as much as your own. Hubby and I definitely try to get this done everyday.

Another kind of ritual is kissing every time you see each other. If I’m going to see hubby before anything else, I  have to give him his kiss first or vice versa, he’ll visit me and give me a kiss before saying hi to anyone else. Its the same with leaving, we always depart with a kiss.

Bonding can be done in nature, in cuddle sessions, in working out together, the random date nights or game nights

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The relationship rituals are whatever works for you. Its the little things that you’ve been doing all along, the goals you’ve set for yourselves, the bar or restaurant you frequent, the bench in the park you always sit at, the way you cuddle up at nighttime, the way you cook together on the weekends, the kisses your partner gives you before they get out of bed, etc…

Al of these tings brings you closer and leave an impression on your heart for a lifetime. Its all the little things that keep you falling more in love with them everyday…

Connect. Support. Build. Grow. Together. Love

Loves Notes with My Hubby

I love my future husband. He is an amazing individual with compassion, drive, focus, warmth, love, intellect, vulnerability, passion. He loves me more than I love him and I acknowledge and accept it.

I tell him this almost everyday.

Here are some messages we share with one another:

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This is our everyday. Just sharing how much we love and cherish each other, how much we love our gravity and communication, how in awe we are that years later we still have a great thing going and growing.

This is a real relationship goal.

And yes work is put in to it everyday, but we make our relationship worth fighting for.

Write your loved one a note and share how you feel, sometimes the best expression is a simple, hand written “I love you”

Enjoy.

 

Celebrate Everyday

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With Valentine’s Day coming up tomorrow, I just want to remind you of one thing – Don’t let Valentine’s Day be the sole definer of the year for your grand gesture of love, let everyday be a day to remind your partner how much you love them exponentially.

Here’s some advice (pending on what your partner wants):

  • Even if YOU don’t particularly like celebrating Valentine’s Day (or any other holiday for that matter) listen to what your partner wants. It is not just you in the relationship. Never let your partner feel like you’re not paying attention to what they want
  • Jewelry, chocolate, and flowers are not for everyone! Don’t fall in to that stereotype. Again talk to your partner to find out what they want. You never know if a quiet evening alone with just the two of you is all they need.
  • Extravagance and expensive is not always the best bet. I can honestly say that hubby has gotten home made cards from me these past 3 years and he loves everyone of them (besides our every day love notes). A gift can be just some of your time, an acknowledgment of certain achievements or milestones, a book, a new lingerie that YOU picked out to make her feel sexy, a favorite something, etc
  • Valentine’s day can also be a time to try something new – new date night ideas, new things in the bedroom, go on an adventure… just something you haven’t done before but its made its way onto your list as things to try.

These are just some things I thought of. Not necessarily any one thing special. But… it all comes down to communication, discuss plans, suck it up and celebrate to make them happy even if its something small (stay at home cuddle session or sensual massage or read some of the strips in your happiness jar ::hint hint::).

Enjoy your Valentine’s Day.

But remember, show your love everyday!

Love.Support.Communicacte.Celebrate

 

Hugh Prather & Communcation

Hey all, so I’m going through this training recommended by my mom for my job. It’s called Restorative Circles.

Basically, as the name implies, its a circle or group of individuals, that go through a learning/restoring process together by exploring different topics such as community building, feelings, listening, assertiveness, problem solving, diversity, and making differences by a exploring a series of readings and activities together.

Side Note: I am a Paraprofessional ( Teachers aide) for Grades PK-2

Any who, During the training we were given a reading by Hugh Prather, an excerpt from his book Notes to Myself (had to look it up because it was a really good excerpt!)

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This poem resonated so strongly in me what I want to instill in you about communication in a great relationship.

Communication is not just about talking to your partner, it is about connecting in ways that go beyond verbal conversation. We communicate through body language, we communicate in silence, we communicate through our eyes, we communicate through sighs…..

It’s about being naked and vulnerable and open to your partner, you willingness to expose yourself and share yourself with your partner and having them do the same to you.

It’s transcending from separate identities without holding back bits of yourself.

be open.

be willing.

expose yourself to each other.

in truth if you want to build forever, you need to communicate all parts yourself.

that is the best foundation for you to build on.

Communicate. Build. Trust. Support. Care. Love.

 

Happiness Jar

There are some things on social media that are just awesome. Especially on Pinterest!

Last year, I stumbled across a post about Happiness Jars.

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Happiness Jars are basically mason jars or empty containers where you write on little slips of paper something that made you happy that day, all year long.

Sounds like work right.

But it’s actually really fun.

To make it even more fun, make a Happiness Jar with your partner. At the end of the year you’ll be surprised to see that all the things you think they didn’t notice, actually was, and it made them happy.

You don’t even have to wait for the end of the year, use it as a way to celebrate what you to have built together. Use it as a pick me up when you or your partner is feeling down. Use it as a reminder of why you love each other.

Use it for love and laughs.

I started on one for a few months, lost it, found it again, and shared it with hubby. He really liked to reminisce with me about the moments we shared. He also liked that I took the time to write out the special moments as happy moments, since we had them together.

This can be another way to share with your partner how much you appreciate them.

Create. Share. Appreciate. Support. Communicate. Love

I Appreciate…

Browsing through Instagram earlier, I came across a post of another couple celebrating their anniversary. She posted a photo but in the caption she went through all the things she appreciated about her partner. How he pushed her, how he helped her, the little intimate things he does.

It made me smile.

It also made me remember a conversation I had with 2 of my very good friends about why i chose hubby, how did I know that he was the one for me…

and I told them..

I think about him more than I think about myself at times. He is on my mind from morning til night. I love that he calls me his wife, his queen, his best friend, Mrs. Nimmons. I can have conversations with him about anything and everything. I can be myself around him without feeling self conscious, he’ll just laugh and shake his head or go along with my shenanigans. I enjoy walking down the street and holding his hand. I appreciate that he never lets me cross the street without holding onto him. No matter how frustrated he gets, I know that I can calm him down with just a simple touch. He took care of me when I had the flu (like wrapped me up, kept changing my cold compress, made sure I took my meds and stay hydrated) while my family was on vaca. I love when he kisses my forehead when we cuddle. I love when he snuggles into me like a big baby and tangles our legs together. I love that no matter what i can count on him to find a way under my shirt to rub on my right hip. I love him for how he took care of me when I lost my brother. I love that I can come to him in the middle of day having a breakdown and he’ll just open his arms and wipe my tears. I love when he called my nieces, OUR nieces because my family is his family now. I love that he pushes me as much as I push him. I love him and I appreciate him.

I also appreciate that we take the time to tell each other a few of things just about everyday. We don’t wait for holidays or birthdays to tell each other how much we love each other.

No one day is greater than the other to express how we feel.

Whether its a long text, a handwritten note, or a long email. Express yourself. Shower your partner in your declarations as often as possible. Let them know that you notice what they’re doing for you, what they do for the both of you, and how much you appreciate and love them for it.

Telling hubby these things are my normal, they’re a part of my everyday. Or almost everyday. Start on making it a part of yours if you haven’t already.

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Say this and watch their smile!

Appreciate. Communicate. Support. Love