Give space when I’m sorry isn’t enough.
It’s hard right. To do that when all you want to know is how you could fix it. What can you do to make it better? How can you get past it and get things back to where they were? Can things get back to how it was before?
The unknowing can be scary as fuck.
Its the lack of trust that falls in between the cracks that get you even when you’re being completely honest. Its how you feel that they won’t be able to see past what you did or said wrong. The hurt and speculation will always be there and not matter how much they say they’re over it, its there nagging at the back of your mind and theirs, and it can be that way for a while whether you admit it out loud or not.
But what can you do once they say they’re over it right? Why do you feel the need to keep bringing it up if they said things are okay?
I can say that for me, even though things were finally talked through and me and hubby said that things were okay, I was still harboring onto the feelings that were left behind from our fight. From the last time we saw each other in person, we’ve been dealing with the argument via text. We finally were able to see each other face-to-face and get everything out in the open . Trying to stop a fight over the phone ore through text really is NOT the best way. Everything was taken out of context on both our ends. We were finally able to get back to us after a few days of fighting and 2 days of really talking about everything.
He asked me “what is the best way for us to fix things and to understand?” I had to say by communicating. But even then I personally could not get it through to myself that things were okay. It was something I needed to work through on my own but also communicate to my love why I was feeling that way and how I was getting myself through it.
Personally here I was I did to heal the hurt
- Speak about it. I try to convey everything I’m feeling ad everything that went through my mind about the situation with my love
- Write it out. I write poetry when it all becomes too much to bare and my mind is constantly in a loop over the stressors
- Burn some sage. with the sage burning I speak my affirmation to clear my heart, my spirit and the space around me of the hurt and negative energy while opening my self and feeding into my space positive thoughts, healing and love.
- Meditate. With my healing Chakra crystals I sit and let the affirmations flow through me and speak my gratitude for the weight lifting off.
Love language played a huge part in my healing process as well. Physical touch is big for both of us so being able to finally touch each other and feel the truth after so many days apart made the weight a little lighter.
Again, this is what worked for us and our situation. But for all, time and communication works in healing a relationship from any trauma.