So recently, hubby and I had to have a talk (always talking with us) and it was something that was a long time coming.
We’re both adults, very career minded, and always looking for ways to get further with out goals.
However (there’s that word)…. what happened to the time for US?
See hubby and I don’t live together and we live boroughs apart in NYC. So the time we do get to spend together is limited to weekends and some random days during the week for a spur of the moment date night.
So we cherish our quality time together.
But there are times when making moves towards our goals get in the way of our quality time. When canceled dates become more frequent, over booking ones self more common, or you know just plain old forgetting about plans cause you’ve been so busy.
Now understanding partners are hard to find when it comes to things like this.
While we (not essentially hubby and I) don’t want to compare how we support each other, we can’t help but notice how it starts to become one-sided. We say it doesn’t hurt or its okay, but underneath t all we’re tallying up everything that is being missed.
So yeah, hubby and I had a talk. We both made some points and I let it known that I do support him in everything he does but it hurts when we make these plans for months in advance, we talked on it often but in the end he still can’t make it to something I invited him to due to poor time management.
I get it things happen beyond our control: alarm doesn’t go off, the gym was closed due to cleaning, traffic on the highway, last-minute errands and such.
It’s bothersome that it was so easily brushed aside.I know it wasn’t his intention to miss it but it’s not the first time with him.
It hurts to think that i can do everything in the world to support you but of the few times when it’s really important to me for you to be there and you keep missing it, then I’ll become mum, and not say anything anymore.
I don’t want that to keep happening. So we had a sit down and got both sides across. So yes, hubby is making moves, yes i support him while he does it. but support goes both ways. Showing up goes both ways. I may not express great interest in what he does but I still I’m there (there’s goes the tallying).
I’ll complain, I’ll vent but I know when to suck it up and take it until we can fully get back to US. Only because I know he is working on bettering himself for US that I will take the backseat to his goals and let him focus. I will put my big girl panties on and smile for him because I know it bothers him since its bothering me. I push him to be better for himself, while he pushes to be better for us.
I’m saying all this now, but I know that it will continue to happen until we get it right. This topic will be constantly revisited because we’re human and life always has other plans besides the plans we make for ourselves.
Love. Communicate. Support.